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School Marks

Right before class started, a small group of boys were busy at work, marking on each others’ faces with black markers.  It was a jan ken pon (paper scissors rock) match gone bad, and by the time the bell rang, they were all marked up, one having the full deal with a れ on one cheek, a ん on the other, small scribbles on his forehead, and a full  scribbly beard.

The bell having rung, they all rushed to the bathroom, conveniently located across from the classroom.  Only one was able to start washing his face as the teacher yelled for them to come back.  I told the teacher, “I hope it’s permanent marker!”.

The one boy had been able to remove all but a shadow of the X marks from his cheek.  But the ”bearded” boy…

He walked back into the room, not having had a chance to wash any of the marks off of his face.  He kept his hand over his “beard” as he took his seat.  He eventually felt less self-consious and took his hand down, only to put it back up when I kept laughing (he’s one of the more popular, loud kids in class, and this humored me to no end).  We played a hot potato game, and when the music stopped on him (you have to answer a question when that happens…and it was totally my fault that the music stopped at him…I’m cruel), his hand shot right back up.

The lesson of the day focused on “____ look(s) _____.”  Marker Boy tried out his new English by saying a few key phrases, such as, “you look old!”.  The teacher told him that it sounded funny coming from such a weird old man.  Another student turned around and told Marker Boy, “you look バカ!” (a seriously well-placed line *which means “you look stupid!”*).  We laughed.

Throughout the class, he stopped caring as much.  Nonetheless, near the end of the period, when another teacher slowly walked past the classroom, looking for trouble-makers (I can only guess, what with the prowling-ness), the English teacher pointed out that the student’s face had become bright red.

You’d think that after an entire class full of mockery, the first thing he’d do once the bell had rung would be to wash off his face.  But, hey, there were markers, and it wouldn’t be so embarrassing if others looked like him, right?  By the time I left, several other boys were already fully markered too.  Markered lines under the eyes.  Outlined noses.  swirls on cheeks.

Why did I leave my camera at home today?!?

Being Famous for Looking Famous

So, I made my first appearance in the Yoshii “night scene” since becoming a pauper about a month ago.

It was bizarro, but very good times! What I keep thinking is, “only in Japan!”.

So, let’s see. I started out the night in my usual fashion. I went to Tony’s Cafe for a (totally low-calorie, I’m sure) super-sized taco salad. Man, it rocked. Go Jose! The local ALTs were there (all two of them), and my friend came over to hang out. I had been planning on going over to Loco for a minute (read “long time”), because I like talking to the master (Japanese term for the person who runs a bar…and the only person in this bar’s case), so after everyone said that there was no point in going because it was “dead”, I decided to just go by myself. No, this wasn’t actually a deviation in any way. I knew they wouldn’t want to go.

I didn’t leave Tony’s until after one in the AM, what with trying to figure out whether the place was even open or not. There had been a hardcore dearth of customers recently, so I was concerned that I’d find a closed bar. Well, I set off, and on the way saw other groups of young people going in the same direction. It was a small glimmer of hope for me. Another was when two guys went in right after me once I arrived at the place, “open” sign all lit up. Going upstairs to the bar, I found that there were actually about six people there! *Charity shock!* The two guys told the master that several more people would be coming. Two older guys were sitting over on two couches surrounding a table, and when they saw me situating myself at the bar, they were all, “It’s the teacher!!”. I just smiled amiably enough and asked for a drink menu.

A little note: After leaving Tony’s Cafe, all conversations, all everything, were carried out in Japanese. The only phrase in English they said to me was “Never give up!”, when I said “I give up!” when a pool game was dragging on into infinity.

Well, it seemed that one of the guys actually did know me. I went over and talked to them for a while about this and that. Apparently he had been at the PTA banquet I was required to attend (good times, though). He asked me what my name was again. He said, “Is it…ah…Angela?” He honestly didn’t realise that he was remembering a conversation at the banquet about…yes…how I looked like Angela Aki. I said, “My name’s Charity.” He suddenly looked super…happily embarrased? He was all, “yeahyeah! Sorry! I should have known that!!!” Then I said that he had been thinking of Angela Aki. He looked embarrased as he laughed about his screw-up. A young man came over and started doing the groveling bowing I rarely get to see to the man who knew me. It was the type that a person would do upon finding their superior hanging out in the same establishment where you had planned on being loud, happy and drunk with your friends, and thusly not tending to your boss’ every whim and fancy. I guess it’s an, “I’m really not worthy, even when I’m with my friends outside of work”. It was so ridiculous that I couldn’t help but think, “what a weenie!”. He would continue to leave his friends on occasion to kindof attend to his superior. Very interesting. The guys had me choose several drinks, and since I just knew that they would be paying for them, after the second or third that they practically required me to order (they were the last ones remaining from a nijikai *second location after the official enkai is over*, so I went with it), I feigned that I couldn’t decide what to get. I didn’t order anything else until I decided to play some pool (and thusly was totally on my tab). One of the guys played a game and a half with me, then had to take a phone call, so they ordered the young guy to finish the game (they had also made him order me one of my drinks as he was walking by our table, and of course he was only too happy to do whatever they said). I taught him all about US pool rules. Heck, I might have just been teaching him the rules in general. He kept trying to get the 8 ball in whenever he was playing solids, and this wasn’t 9-ball either. I had to keep saying, “This is the ending ball”. When the game was over (I think I won), he was all, “one more time!”. I, of course, was happy to oblige.

At this point, I had started hearing what a group of people were saying sitting near the pool tables. It was actually pretty blatant. They started talking excitedly about Angela Aki, and when I looked at them, they were all looking at me with crazy smiles on their faces. I’m pretty sure they knew I couldn’t possibly be her, but they still seemed excited by the doppleganger playing pool. As I took a shot, I heard a keitai taking a picture. I thought to myself, “No, they couldn’t possibly have just taken a picture of me. God, I wonder if they’re now sending it to a friend or something.” Not a minute passed when I heard the guy on the phone that must have just taken the picture. He was saying, “Dude, Angela Aki’s at the bar RIGHT NOW! You need to come here NOW!”. I know he knew I wasn’t her, but I also know that he was totally pulling a prank on his friend. I mean, seriously though! He even had a picture to back it up! I think they even eventually showed up, because I passed some guys on the stairway at one point who said a quick greeting to me in rusty English and seemed to have recognised me (I say this because you get used to the wide-eyed looks of people not expecting to find me right around a corner, and they never can get over it fast enough to say something in passing in English, but hey, welcome to the inaka).

Well, my pool guy was now on a roll with the “one more time!” deal every time the game would finish. I think it wasn’t hurting that some of the guys were paying us some attention. One was interested in the rules I was explaining. One was trying to give advise to improve my pool partner’s game (pool game, of course). One was really interested in being in my general proximity. At one point, he came up with his keitai and asked if he could have his picture taken with me. I was all, “uhh? Yeah, I…guess so!”. He was all, “someone take our picture!!!”, waving the keitai hurriedly, as if I would run off if it wasn’t done this instant. I was all, “you know I’m not Angela Aki, right?”. He was all, “yeah, I know!”. A guy comes up, and many pictures ensue. He had his keitai ready too, of course. The guy who originally wanted my picture was all, “You’re very gorgeous!” I was all, “umm… thanks!”. And then another “very pretty” from him as he looked absolutely thrilled that he could now tell everyone that he got his picture taken with Angela Aki. I think my pool partner was enjoying the “aren’t I cool?” factor from playing pool with me. Perhaps that’s why he kept doing it. Oh wait, no. Perhaps it was my witty and thought-provoking Japanese conversational skills. Perhaps not.
At one point, one of the bolder guys was talking to me and called me something. I didn’t understand, except that it was some sort of nickname. I repeated it. “boin chan?” He was all, “yeah, boin,” he cupped his hands as if he had boobs. “chan”, he finished. I just looked at him as my mind ran something through quality control. Here’s how it went: “Ok, he just called me ‘boin chan’, as in ‘boing chan’. Is it improper in Japanese society to smack around this guy who was actually able to say something so gutsy to a girl who is obviously taller and heavier than him? Ah, just do it, but maybe hold back the blows. I bet he’s delicate.” I raised my hand with the sudden “ok” from QC and just kindof bapped him with not much force at all on the side of his head, with a “grow up” look on my face. Then I felt like it was not enough, so I bapped him on the top of his head. And then another little rap on his head. Perfectly executed. He looked like he got caught, but still with a smile on his face. I went back to playing pool.

Not soon after, perhaps only a minute, and the master was moving quickly over to their table with paper towels. “I wonder why”, I thought to myself. I took my shot, then looked. Only to realise that they were for one of the guys (I think it was the one who said “boin chan”, and no, my retribution couldn’t have caused that). He was having a nose bleed. I saw it. His friends who were looking at him looked up at me. Then they looked all “crazy smiles”, and then started teasing him while laughing. I turned away really quickly with their implications. Do you guys know the whole idea here of how a guy will get a nose-bleed if he is sexually aroused from either an indecent thought or whatnot? Something around those lines, either way. You see it a lot in anime. Well, I think that was what his friends were teasing him about.

Eventually, people cleared out. All the young folk left. My pool partner’s ride left. The older men left. And he was still wanting to play pool with me. We were having a really good conversation going on there, too. It was pretty awesome. If only I could speak as well in Japanese when I wasn’t drinking. The master started practicing his guitar. He didn’t care that we were still there and said that he wasn’t tired anyways (there are no laws governing when a bar has to close, so it’s just up to the master of each establishment). He mentioned that the two guys did, indeed pay for several of my drinks. Good times.

The sun came up.

We said goodbye to the master, went to the 7-Eleven, stocked up on food, and started walking. Taxis weren’t running at that time (ok, so the only reliable one is closed from 4am until 7am. Why? That’s how inaka this place is). I got to hear about how he lived with his parents because he was the oldest. Japanese logic, but at least he gets a house in the process. He walked all the way to my house (his mistake, ’cause it was way farther than he thought it would be, even when he knew the restaurant near my house). He said goodbye to me with a, “let’s play pool again!”.

He was the only one not freaking out over my apparently uncanny resemblance to someone else. Yes, that totally gets you brownie points in my book. And I look forward to another bout of pool-playing…though perhaps not five hours straight next time. :)

Steal My Car!

After that last post, this one really wants to be short and to the point.

This happens all the time where I live (is it the same in the big cities?).  When I went to Lawson to buy some quick, stomach-friendly lunch, it was rainy and cold outside, so I turned on the heater.  When I got to Lawson, I simply left the car running as I went in to buy my food, so as to have a warm car when I returned.

I thought it was the most bizarro, trusting thing to do here when I first arrived.  Leaving your car unlocked…no, not just unlocked…but with the motor running saying, “please take me!”.  Anyways, this won’t be a common practice for me anytime soon, but today was still my first step into “not paranoid American”.  Still locking my house doors, though (to keep random people from popping their heads in rather than keeping out any thief…but that’s a Japanese thing).

The History of ‘Baito

Have I talked about my ‘Baito before? He’s a guy who works at the local Lawson here. Ever since (maybe the first or second month here) the first time I boldly gave him a shout-out at a Joyfull (24-hour restaurant) at 4:30 in the AM, we’ve been on interesting terms with each other. By “interesting”, I mean that he no longer talks to me in purely keigo (very formal Japanese that is the lament of many a studier of 日本語 that I know). Oh, right, and he always looks so happy to see me.

Oops! Sorry. For those who might not know the term, “baito” is a shortened term for “arubaito” which means (part-time work(er)). It’s a German loan word, if anyone could tell.
The whole shout-out at the Joyfull was a total mistake, actually, but one of those you don’t regret later. My mistake was assuming that I could judge that I knew people properly when I was rather intoxicated. I’m with my friends, look up and see him and his friends passing our table, and I’m all “Hey!!!”. And he’s all, “Ah!!!”. And it was beautiful…until he sat down at his own table and I realized to my horror that I didn’t know him as an acquaintance from a party or what-not, but as the worker from the closest combini (convenience store) from my house. I just recognized his face and assumed, is all. やれやれ！

Ever since then, though I was a bit mortified the first time, he would be all genki happy to see me, find some way to come up and say “hey”, and make some tiny comment on this or that. I think him being able to be so friendly with me gives him total cool points around his other worker peeps. That’s just my hypothesis, though. I don’t (seriously, though) think he harbors anything serious for someone who may or may not speak any of his local tongue.

And maybe I should have been more obvious with my wording.  He don’t like me that way.  I don’t like him that way.  This is just a sweet tale of platonic hey-there-now!  Geez.  Now, back to the story.

Oh yeah, ahhahhahhah! There was that one time at 4AM that I came in to the Lawson, drunk, and he was working. He was ringing up my onigiri purchases, and I suddenly realized that for the many months I knew him, I had no clue what his name was. Looking at his name tag (conveniently written in *argh* kanji) I was all, “naka nantoka….”, which means “naka something”. At least his first kanji was about the easiest one in the language to remember). He filled in the blanks for me, and I was super happy that I finally knew his name. Until the next day, when I had already forgotten. No prob. I just asked again. And now I know it! Woo! Go me! And yes, I had enough decency to look quite abashed the next time I saw him. At times I can be quite blunt with him (alcohol is evil!!!…unless you want to talk to random people at combinis). I think the only other time I ever said a full sentence to him was when I asked if he always worked weekends. He was all, “I work every day!” I was all, “OMG lollz!”.

I nearly cried *not reaallly, yo!* when I realized that he wasn’t working his usual graveyard shift anymore. What other reason did I have to buy onigiri at 3AM every Saturday? I was all, “Oh my god! He got a real job! Nooo!!!”. Then I became all super poor (the word in Japanese is “bimbo”…can anyone figure out why I would feel all weird saying -what my mind hears as- “I am a ‘bimbo’?”). I couldn’t go to my Lawson for about a month (two more days to go until I get payed!!!). One day I realized that *oh my goodness!* I needed food for lunch for a field trip we were all taking with the students. Since making my lunch is still a foreign concept *literally* to me, I had to run and buy a few things at the combini before school (the field trip bentos were all, like 1000 yen each *abt $8 US* so I was still saving money). There was ‘Baito! He was looking super genki to see me! I was looking all “sleepy Charity in trackpants”! He came up to me as I was choosing my delicious foods, and was all, “hisashiburi!! o-genki desu ka?” (long time no see! how are you?). I was still too tired to talk too much in Japanese, but I finished with the usual reply and smiled and all. You’d have thought I made his day with how he greeted me with the goofy grin he always likes to give me plastered on his face.

Today I have been in severe recovery from a horrid 24-hour bug that had me so bad yesterday, I even spent an hour at the doc’s getting a saline drip. I hope I’ll be back to normal to harrass students tomorrow, but we’ll see. Either way! I was at the grocery store, looking for things that wouldn’t upset my stomach (ate about 5 crackers in the span of 2 days before just now), and decided (for about the only time ever!) that I really needed a sugary drink. My body said, “You want to drink the cooolaaa!”, and, well, who can argue with that voice? I hmmed and hawwed about it for a moment, then decided that I would let myself spent the extra 50 cents it would cost to buy it at Lawson. Sure, he probably wasn’t working, but it was all in the name of research (when exactly does he work?). Oh my goodness! So, he wasn’t working, but he was still there! Weird. I think he knows what my car looks like *ok, so I think I might know what his does, too*, and he all leaned over to see that it was me. I did the same. We waved. The usual. I went in. Looked at stuff. Someone came up next to me. I assumed it was him, so I just looked right at him. It wasn’t him. Just another guy the same height and build. Who also wanted to buy yoghurt. Awkward. ‘Baito didn’t talk to me cause he was talking to friends. I went to my car, and when I looked up, he looked at me and smiled from inside Lawson. I smiled and waved back. So did he.

It’s all kindof weird, really. But I like the set-up.

Boy, though, if Yankii-Boy (a blog for another time, but you know who I’m talking about, Kristen) could read this, I’d bet he’d be all jealous! Hahhah! That’s funny.

I really hope that my assumptions on who can’t read English are true, too. Perhaps I should throw in even more slangy speech to up the incomprehensibility. And add bigger words. Like “incomprehensibility”.

Golden Week Plans, Anyone?

So, Golden Week is fast approaching. Yes, Golden Week, where a plethora of holidays converge on the first week of May to make for a much-anticipated, highly-traveled, week-long holiday.
If you’re living in Japan, what are your plans? Mine involve…well, ok, so I haven’t thought of anything yet. I had originally planned on returning to the States, but after I gave up on that idea, I just…didn’t really think about it again.

If I had thought long and hard about it, here are some destinations I might have chosen:

• Hakodate, Hokkaido (to visit old haunts)

• Kyoto (yet again. Need to go to Ginkaku-ji this time)

• Yufuin (nice shops (and onsens, if you’re into that type of thing). Actually only an hour and a half away by car…might still day trip it)

• Nagasaki (friend lives there, close by, and thusly cheap to get there…still an option, I guess)

• Fukuoka City (yeah, so this is kindof a given. I need to buy some stuff there anyways, and, you know, parta~y)

• Costco (depressing that I even typed it down)

I need to know what the rest of the world is doing! Because of my “game“, I’m always at home, always looking to see if anyone posted a comment. Thank goodness for the internet (and games, and season 1 of Babylon 5 *sadly finished up yesterday*) or I would have had to resort to exercise and long walks in the countryside with a good book to keep me company. “Not yet!”, I say! Leave that for the last two weeks, when my eyes can no longer take the strain of illuminated screens.

And now, I wait with baited breath for you comments.

Goin’ To Tokyo

Tomorrow I’ll be heading to Tokyo to hang out with my peeps and generally feel the hurt of not knowing how to save my money properly. Don’t expect any posts from me since I’m going to be leaving my computer at home for the trip.

At least today I made the final payment on my bad-ass little kei car. Though “kei” is synonymous with “little”, mine is little even for a kei car, so…there you have it folks! Big woman in a little man’s car!

What will I do when I go back to the States and men are actually taller than me again? I now know why shorter men can feel threatened by taller women, cause when I do happen upon the few women that are taller than me, I feel threatened. Cause…you know. “Being the tallest” is my turf now! Kristen (another ALT I hang with) would know. She points out a taller chick and I deny that it’s true. At this point, even if a six-foot-tall Japanese girl walked past me with no heels (which is never, by the way), I would say, “No, I’m taller. I’m just slouching is all!”. Denial is my friend.

So, I went to buy some feeder fish for my turtle while I’m away. Not sure if he’s going to eat them, but I’m giving it a shot. One of my friends will be coming by to feed him while I’m gone, but this is a backup plan. Anyways, they bubble-wrapped the bag the fish were in! Perhaps it has something to do with the large majority of bike riders here (keeping the fish safe from the bicycle basket, perhaps), but even still…I was amused.

This is such a hassle, but it’s all my fault. I have to go and dry my clothes at the laundromat that’s about half an hour away by car. I was supposed to do laundry yesterday, but managed to goof off the ENTIRE DAY (it was a holiday)! managed to see a movie with my friend (only 1,000 yen on Wednesdays, woo~!), meet a new person, have lovely dinner out, AND go to karaoke…but the cost was coming home after 11PM… Oh, when will I ever learn?

These are my friends at karaoke. Arisa (on the left) is doing a kitsune *fox* hand gesture instead of the usual peace sign. We had all been doing super fox hands the entire night. It was really funny. You just…had to be there, you know? Yeah.

The place in Yoshii is kinda posh and the rooms look like caves! Ooh. And I was expecting kinda run-down inaka style (looking like the last renovation was in the 80′s, cracked linoleum seating, and smelling like old cigarettes). I’m pleasantly surprised.

And by the way Ayumi, I wanted to invite you, but Arisa said you would still be sleeping so I shouldn’t interrupt you. Please blame her. I’m totally innocent in all of this.  Does that make me a weasel to rat out my friends?  No.  Because Arisa doesn’t own a computer and will never read this.  Ehheh.

Is It Spring Yet?

Two days ago, I saw a swarm of little flying insects, yesterday I saw a bee buzzing around some flowers on a bush that never let winter slow it down. Birds are singing. I planted flowers. The car window was rolled down all the way because it was too warm inside. Arm out the window. I can’t believe it’s just the beginning of February.

Though I hear it’s going to get cold again.

But “cold” compared to what?

The green never died here. And the palm trees on the school grounds and tropical plants EVERYWHERE… It’s just surreal when you’re used to living in Oklahoma, Kansas, and Eastern Maritime Canada.

Palm trees!

And you’d think I’d be more amazed by the bamboo forests. Ok, so I am. You’re driving along, taking in the scenery, when suddenly you notice…something’s not right with those trees… It’s like they’re made of bamboo or something!

At least that isn’t such an unbelievable thing…bamboo forests in Japan, that is. I just…never expected it to be quite so tropical here!

And I leave you with this warning: Beware Fukuoka summers!

I’m on a Rant, but the Pain is Short

Alright, so I’m settling into a routine of teachers fighting to have me go to their classes. Apparently, the vice principal told the teachers that there was some (may I say, quite impossible *I did the math*) quota of hours I was supposed to teach each school year, and since I may have gone to only a handful of classes in the past half year, it wasn’t quite meeting up.

Last week, I got the joy of having two teachers discussing *arguing* over my head as to who had dibs on me. As far as I’m concerned, the teacher who should get me is the teacher who uses me, not the one who tells his class that I’m only there because the vice principal said it was required (I know what you’re saying, so stop using Japanese like it’s that code that Charity doesn’t understand).

Now I’m going to classes where I say a few sentences here and there, and otherwise sit down to quietly contemplate the idea of kids who know grammer, but who, at the same time, can’t respond to “Do you like carrots?” without partial translations, multiple repetition, and ridiculous miming.

And by the way, Japanese English teachers, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Saying “of course!” is considered a bit rude, or at least harsh, as a response to a question…so stop saying it to everything I ask! Like I’m supposed to know that I, “of course”, get the day off for Coming of Age Day (it’s not like anyone in grade school is turning 20), or to “of course” speak the next vocabulary during a listening test, like I was told how long to wait. It’s a simple question. A “yes” or “no” will suffice, thank you. Perhaps a “maybe” if you’re feeling crazy.

While I’m ranting, I am constantly amazed as to the extent some people go to to totally ignore that there are other cultures outside of their own. An example would be how a supervisor of mine responded to my “I don’t know how to use this, what is this ‘bank book’ for?” with a rather incredulous “don’t you use those in America too?” (no, by the way). Another would be the old man who first said in Japanese,”ooh, a foreigner!”, then kept staring at me at the train station, saying “ok” over and over like I was some dog that if you prompted enough would whine out “Iloveyou” (do you know what I’m talking about?). I don’t know. Maybe what annoys me even more is the lack of responsiveness from other people who know what’s going on, especially when the people who are ignoring it are the people running an establishment I happen to be in. It’s as if people are so reluctant to do something that could be perceived as creating a commotion that they let the current commotion continue. It seems to be the whole “blind-eye” approach. I wonder if it’s a general situation (I hear it’s also a problem with girls being harrassed in the trains by “chikan”->molesters), or mainly a “not Japanese” issue. I won’t go into the racism issue right now. That’s a topic I can’t properly express right now without getting bummed out. Or angry.

Well, that was fun.

And now I’ll idle away my hours reading my collection of Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales that I picked up at the new (for me) Maruzen in Fukuoka City. Such a nice collection of English books they have! I already can’t wait to go back!

And yes, by the way, I have re-contracted for another year (so long as they want me to return…haven’t gotten anything official yet). Though I rant, it doesn’t rule my life. I’m still perhaps the happiest I’ve been in a long time.

Which may come as a shock to those who know me here, but if you took away the pessimistic, brooding, sarcastic, sardonic, snarky, bitter part of me, you’d take away…me! It’s really not as bad as it seems. Well, not for me, anyways. :)

A Farewell to Friend

Goodbye long-term visiting friend named Steve! With you now in Tokyo, I’ll once again have the house to myself. I’ll wander as if lost as the dishes pile up and the laundry stays unwashed (seriously though, hanging clothes to dry? I’ll never get into that). Oh, woa is the day that you left, for I no longer remember how I, in blissful ignorance, idled away the time by myself in my concrete block of a house! It had something to do with video games and Japanese drama, but it’s hard to start that all back up. Ok, not hard. I’m hitting the DS hardcore, but it’s not the same. Not the same at all.

I feel it’s only appropriate to honor his memory with a terribly goofy picture of him.

He is making this gleeful face as he uses the electronic touch screen pad to find a song for the karaoke (say it with me, “kah-rah-oh-keh”) booth we were in when visiting Tokyo, a bit over two months ago. The karaoke booth was great, with props to play around with. He’s wearing one of them, a neon orange happi coat. The kanji on his says “o-matsuri”, or “festival”. I had on a red one.

Woo, hit the m&m/raisin mix too hard. Felt like I was back on codone again from back before I had my surgery (too much information?). I’ll have to remember that it’s just too strong to be munching on at work. Heaven forbid if I had a class right now!

Christmas in Japan

Did you ever know that Colonel Sanders looks just like Santa Claus?

They sure do here, as is evident by this striking photo taken at YouMe Town. “Kentuck” *KFC* is the forerunner in the lucrative Christmas fried chicken business. What you see to the right of the jolly Southerner are the order forms for your most “finger-lickin’ good” of Christmas fares.

Christmas isn’t the same type of holiday that it is in the western hemisphere. It’s not a huge occasion marked by traditional foods, family gatherings and Christmas specials on TV for an entire week. It’s marked by obnoxious Christmas decorations, bizarre selections of Christmas tunes, friends, lovers, and…fried chicken, cake and champagne?!? Well, why the hell not, I say!

I mean, I’m going to need a lot of champagne to counter the thoughts of what I’m missing back in the States (or Canada…I’m not picky…roundtrip ticket anyone?). Thank goodness I bought all that Martinelli’s sparkling cider yesterday at Costco! I’m going to get drunk on life! Woo! Who needs alcohol when you’ve got…well, work. I (big surprise) don’t get a day off for Christmas. It’s a time for teachers to take off a little 年休-> “nenkyuu” *paid holiday*, but I’m saving up for warmer times. I’ll probably just take a bottle of my sparkling cider to work and work tons hard on stuff. Like reading that Japanese book aimed at 12-year-olds. I’m a moron when it comes to understanding Japanese. Stupid. Dumb. Moron. Good thing the holidays are so much fun here! No family, no fudge, no proper Christmas songs on the radio, no Grama complaining that the gravy didn’t turn out well at all (even though it always rocks), no giblets in said gravy (and when I was just starting to get used to them too!), no turkey, no festive spirit in the air, no nothing! Only pure commercialism.

And fried chicken.

Where’s that Martinelli’s?