I first casually (and in a quiet voice) was all “hah, omg Friend Who I am Eating Sushi With, it’s funny how all people (I’ve seen, at least) not used to eating Japanese food think that rubbing their bamboo chopsticks together furiously is a perfectly acceptable thing to do in public (it’s not, btw…)!”.  And I’m all casually going “harhar”, then look over again to see that the guy begins stirring his water with one of the 割り箸 (waribashi->disposable chopsticks), then starts stirring his green tea with it, THEN ADDS SACCHARINE TO THE TEAPOT!!!!!

…OK, I mean…yeach!  I’m still horrified.

Anyways, horrified.  And then their five orders of california rolls come on a giant plate.  A veritable field of laid-out maki.  And they’re picked up and put into the soy sauce dish.  When they are properly soaked on the bottom, they are turned around so they can be soaked further.  And then eaten.

Yes, I felt horrible for staring by the end, though the only other people to notice were probably the chefs, who were also watching (and probably very used to this sort of thing).  I, however, am not, since my frame of memory reference is, by a vast majority, in Japan (five commas!  I rock).  As soon as they left, I was all

“blahblahblahgottablogaboutthisblahblahblah!”

And then we got some サービス (service->free food) that I thiiink might have originally been meant for the california roll guys, and thus the story (and the reason why I chose the counter) ends well.

And by “reason why I chose the counter”, I mean free サービス, not the chance to be an elitist sushi snob people watcher.  I don’t need to sit at a counter to be that!

I went to the grocery store today to stock up. I made sure to look for things that were unavailable in Japan.

What I bought!

• a large chicken (pot) pie
• skim milk (the proper kind)
• LeSieur canned peas
• canned beef stew
• package of mushroom-flavor instant ramen (for the beef stew of course!…don’t judge me!)
• lemonade
• raisin bran cereal
• French onion dip
• crinkle cut potato chips
• Sensodyne (with FLOURIDE)
• proper-sized toothbrush
• chunky clam chowder
• proper cottage cheese
• granola bars
• Women’s Health magazine (yes, a very odd one out)

Only one of those things is available in an average (Fukuoka) Japanese grocery store or combini. Three others are available if you go to Costco.

note: it seems one item I thought was available in Japanese stores is, in fact, not. So now, it’s 0 Japan, 4 Costco.

Care to take a guess?

I hope everyone can learn from this tale of tragedy. English is good! Cryptic Japanese labeling is bad!!!! Costco is LOVE!

*cry*

My brain kinda fell out of my head when I watched this.

[youtube eIDwMVSwVgc nolink]

It’s for some kind of a low-level talent show program.  I think the hosts’ brains fell out, too.

It would have been wrong of me not to share this.  People need to know.

Let me first post my favorite song EVAR sung by the coolest chick out there. This is Ishikawa Sayuri, singing 「天城越え」”Amagi Goe” (Crossing the Heavenly Castle*?*). The kimono is still the most popular staple to an enka performance. That, and palpable emotion!

[youtube OKrskFTxG4o nolink]

And then, of course, Saburo Kitajima (aka “Sabu-chan”). I chose this video not because I like the song per say, but because he’s singing 『函館の女』”Hakodate no Onna” (Hakodate Woman), and shows the town off. If you didn’t know, Hakodate (in Hokkaido) is where I spent my first two months ever in Japan, nearly five years ago… or was it six? Now that I think about it…! Oh, how the years go by.

[youtube dZ6fTB8BsRg nolink]

But perhaps a more extravagant Sabu-chan is more to your liking? Here he is at the 2006 Kouhaku Uta Gassen, rocking out to 『まつり』”matsuri” (festival). He’s doing this in his 70′s, and that’s awesome. BTW, the SMAP guys can be seen to the side, all bad-boy’ed up from some performance they must have just had<3!

[youtube na3TzeuQeCk nolink]

And then there are the occasional newcomers to the scene, such as Kiyoshi, who really stirred up the enka scene a few years ago. His vocals are freaking amazing…though you kindof need to brace yourself for the video. It’s special. He is displaying the “retro” style some wear for performances.

[youtube EFvsFrUYWl0 nolink]

I love how Jero is getting more young kids interested in what is, by far, a genre for the older generation. Still though, after listening to these guys, I can’t help but notice that his voice is far from enka superstar. I’m looking forward to any subsequent song releases to see how he’s improved as a singer, however. Right now, people on TV still react to his live performances with joyful shock as soon as he utters his first word. It’s as if they’re thinking, “oh my gawd, Japanese is coming from a black man’s mouth! And I thought all they could do was rap and be obnoxious bouncers in Roppongi!!”.  I’m sure this kind of attention either has, or will soon, get very old to him.

The third-years were writing self-introductions in an elective class last week, using a set of questions on the board that I had come up with all spur of the moment (as in, teacher’s writing on the board and is all, “what should I write?”). One of the questions I thought up was simple enough. “What is your favorite foreign actor/singer/whatever?”.

And so, as I’m walking around the room, I see that someone has written　ジェロ, and put “Jelo” as their translation. And I’m all “hahhah, that looks like you are saying that jello is your favorite singer!”, and of course, no understanding. And then I’m all, “I think you mean J.Lo”. And so I’m walking around, and several people (six in total) are putting down this ジェロ, and its various romaji spellings. And I’m thinking to myself as I’m correcting the spelling, “that’s funny, I don’t remember her coming out with a new song!”.

So the next day, the teacher asked me to add a comment to each of their pages. I told him about the whole “jello” thing, and the secretary looking at the pages was all, “Oh yeah! He’s an enka singer!” And I was all, “riiight, no”. Those kids wouldn’t be writing down that their favorite foreign singer, let alone singer at all, was an enka singer!

And then she was all, “he’s black and is very popular right now”.

…I had to google this.

And…whoa! Everyone WAS writing down an enka singer! He’s an American, raised in Philadelphia, and now living in Japan.

Nice sentence. Makes me want to write one about myself.

“Charity, who came to Japan to be an “ENGLISH” teacher.”

Click here for a little background on him. The whole striving for Kouhaku Uta Gassen because of his grama is sweet.

Look! He sings enka while keepin’ it real.

[youtube CwTFJ-Vwbgs nolink]

So anyways, now I know better.

• No more sitting around trying to look busy (actually gave that up a long time ago).
• No more glare contests with Boss Man.
• No more feeling incredibly silly for not studying any Japanese at all while at the same time building killer listening skills (like, they’re awesome).
• No more going, “gee, I wonder what they’re saying”.
• No more going, “gee, I wonder what’s written on the board”.
• No more going, “gee, I wonder where everyone went”.
• No more magazines dedicated to any geeky thing I want.
• No more 回転寿司 (“kaiten zushi” ->conveyor belt sushi) on the cheap and delicious.
• No more プリン (“purin” ->pudding…or more honestly, flan) that I love from said conveyor belt sushi place.
• No more ordering soup and getting a giant fish head in it (that was interesting).
• No more being patted on the belly by students.
• No more getting boy students in trouble because of their セクハラ (“sekuhara” ->sexual harrassment), whether I meant to or not (I have been told worse than “I am a sex machine”, which is what got them in trouble).
• No more moderately big brick of a house to call my own.
• No more being a celebrity in my little town.
• No more feeling like I can act girly even though I’m only getting older.
• No more neighbor children using my dirt to make “katsudon”, “cake”, and “pudding”.
• No more feeling like an aggressive American.  Soon I’ll just be aggressive :)
• No more kawaii-bombed EVERYTHING (this will be missed, btw)
• No more “すごい”s EVERY TIME I drink alcohol faster than a sip.
• No more feeling second-class.

YES to

• nacho cheese chalupas!
• understanding what’s being said around me…at long last!!!
• taking my turtle back with me!  His carapace is longer than four inches, so…
• having everything gardening-related written in a language I know!!!  With lots of books to help me!!!!!  And people to explain things at nurseries in detail in my native tongue!!!!!
• books that only cost a small fortune
• being able to show off cleavage without feeling like an absolute hooker.
• pants that fit.
• SHOES that fit!!!!
• travelling on the interstate without having to spend your life savings on expensive tolls
• feeling like a valued member of society
• being that person who might not be able to tear herself away from the Japan “glory days”

hmm…

Starting November 20th, all foreigners (minus diplomats, those under 16, and some “special” residents of chinese and korean descent) will have to get their fingerprints scanned and photos taken every time they enter Japan.  Tourists.  People on work visas.  Permanent residents.

Why?  Well, of course, to keep out the terrorists.  Because there have been so many foreign acts of terrorism within Japan.  Actually, I lied.  They’ve all been home grown, if you catch my drift.  But it was a nice thought, wasn’t it?  Works for me!  Scan ‘em all!

Here’s a cut and dry article on Yahoo! News, “Japan to take fingerprints, photos of foreigners“.

This article from Japan Today probably better sums up my feelings though, since I currently live here, and entertained serious thoughts of looking for other, non-teaching jobs, here after JET.  Meaning that I’d become a bit more long-term and permanent in my residency (not that three years isn’t already long-term).

But I’m not too keen on having to be bio-scanned every time I come back in the country.

This kind of thing really irks me.  Terrible timing, considering it’s once again time to re-contract.  Then again, perhaps it’s great timing, since I haven’t yet signed another year over yet.

And now I can’t help but wonder, why did I even bother getting super convenient re-entry permits (that cost money and a day of precious paid leave) into this country when I’m now going to have to go through the immigration line anyways?  I mean, have you ever been through those lines?  Make sure your DS battery is charged, is all I’ll say!  Oh…I am now crying in my brain, thinking of how absolutely horrible it will be when I return from my trip to the US after New Year’s…

I hope this was all a horribly blown out of proportion lie.  Or at least a half-truth.  Anything to get me out of that immigration line…

But it probably isn’t.  So damnit.

Goodness!

I still wonder if it was a turf war, or just retaliation from their leader’s death.  I’m sure the heirarchy would have had someone else ready to take his place.  Then again, when someone’s been weakened…steal their land!  …I don’t know, but still…Kurume?  I’d expect KitaKyuushuu…but Kurume???

The food involved a delicious shrimp dumpling-ish soup, pizza made up of whatever they could think of (curry, green peppers, onions, hotdogs, eggplant, gratin cheesy potatoes, random white root plant *not daikon*, tomatoes), a tasty crepe, about four small sips of barley tea (seriously though…a bit more beverage please! I’m a drink-chuggin’ American), and a bowl of fruit.

After eating the last dish, I felt all weird, like my body was going, “so this is fruit, huh?”.  Yeah, not a big fruit eater.  I really don’t eat fruit.  Ever.  Not that I don’t like it, but…  I just, you know…never get around to eating what I have.  And it involves cutting, and my hands get all messy…

Anyways, there was also that stuff mixed in with the fruit that is a jelly (the Japanese term, so don’t think of “jelly” as in the speadable type…but more like jello, or jello jigglers) made from milk.  When they asked how I liked it, I told them that it was “interesting”.  What else can milk jello be on your first tasting experience?  Perhaps I will grow to love it, just as I have come to love Japan’s whole milk (SARCASM!).

Moving on in life.

Perhaps I should eat more fruit though…